


In the Shadow of Your Light

by talconhiro



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Mid-Canon, Multi, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 20:11:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17127971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talconhiro/pseuds/talconhiro
Summary: After Sora beats Riku in Hallow Bastion his heart sinks into the deepest darkness as Ansem takes over his body. Riku gets his body back, but ultimately is left with the regret of his deeds. A Reboot of another fic I'd written in the past (We’ll Be The Darkness//Our Hearts Are Connected specifically), this time with more angst, and a bit more comfort! Lots of NamiRiku Feels and even more SoRiKai Feels!





	In the Shadow of Your Light

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter got a bit out of hand, I'm not sure if future chapters will be as long. 
> 
> THINGS GET INTENSE WITH ANSEM AT ONE POINT. So, I'm going to very explicitly Put a Content/Trigger Warning for NON-CON here. It isn't explicitly so, but it definitively has that vibe.

Darkness. Darkness everywhere. This wasn’t something new to Riku, but this time, this time was not nearly as comfortable as before. A cold chill ran down his spine, sending tingles throughout his body. Hairs standing on end, he shivered as he floated deeper and deeper into the seemingly endless tunnel of Darkness. His body felt heavy, but the air felt even heavier. It was almost hard to breath as he slowly landed face first into a solitary gray dirt path. Getting himself to his feet, he pushed himself up, calling out for his friends, “Sora… Kairi… I’m sorry…”

His voice became stronger as he demanded of the Darkness. Not expecting an answer, slowly, he took a few careful steps up the path before him. It was the only thing he could see in the endless hallway of Darkness. He felt like he could step off the path if he wanted to, but something told the silver haired youth that that was a terrible idea. After a few steps he was halted by a voice ringing in his head… no that wasn’t quite right. Resounding from within his heart.

“Riku, can you hear me? I’ll be there soon.” it reassured. Riku’s eyes darted left and right, unsure of where the voice was coming from. It was acting familiar. It didn’t make sense. He definitely did not recognize the slight squeak that was speaking to him. He felt frantic as he replied, cautiously,

“Who is that?“

“I Have the other key blade —— the one that belongs to this world.”  the voice squeaked again. A warmth was in the high pitched voice. It was like its owner wanted to reassure Riku. But reassure Riku of what? He tried to wrack his brain, but he couldn’t. All he knew was that this voice was definitely new.

The youth had no response to this statement. It felt bizarre, brazen, and almost, unrelated? He remained quiet, listening hard, trying to find a source for the squeak of a voice ringing in his head from his heart. How was this even working? Almost as if to answer, the voice continued.

“I’ve been trying to get through to you. But the Darkness in your heart kept me away.”

This shocked Riku. He took a step back in disbelief as he spread his arms out in desperation. He wanted answers, and he was both getting them, but also, not? “Who are you? What’s happened to me?” he cried out. A desperate tone had fully taken root in his voice as his hands grasped at the nothingness all around.

Not done with its cryptic explanations, the voice continued. “your heart won the battle against darkness, but it was too late for your body. That’s why you’re here—— in this place of darkness where hearts are gathered.”

Riku was at a loss. Where was here? What did this voice mean that his heart won the battle, but his body was lost? He looked down at his hands and feet, he felt his face gently. He was here, body and all. He was not a simple heart floating in the darkness, so how was it that this voice was making a claim that the two had separated? Frustrated, he asked flatly, “so, what do I do?”

“The Door of Darkness will open soon, but it’s a door we can’t enter. It has to be closed from both sides. To do this, you need two keys, and two hearts. Maybe you’re here for the same reason I am. Maybe it was fate.” Another question, another half measured answer. This was becoming infuriating. The mysterious voice’s answer was filled with almost as much uncertainty as Riku felt currently. Was its mouse-like source actually this unsure, or instead, was this an effect from his heart?

Snarking back at the voice, Riku pondered, “Fate, huh? You seem to know everything, don’t you? Then tell me: Are Sora and Kairi okay?” He was tired of this. Ultimately, his… friends? Could he even call them that anymore after everything he had done? Regardless, Sora and Kairi were all Riku cared about. As long as they were safe and alive, he would take whatever foolish plan of mice and men was to befall him.

Said mouse-esque planner seemed equally full of vim and vinegar. The mysterious voice challenged Riku, “Don’t you feel the echoes of their hearts? You already know the answer, look inside your own heart.”

 _Look into my own heart? What is this nonsense? Fine, let’s try it._ Riku closed his eyes and focused heavily. He could hear echoes. Echoes of Sora and Kairi talking. It was like the three of them had shared a Paopu fruit, and he was now just cashing in on the connection that would have given them. It was weird, nothing like the powers of Darkness he had been manipulating up until this point. Was this the power of light? The Silver haired boy let out a heavy sigh, followed by an, “Okay. I can feel them. They’re safe, what’s next?”

The voice went silent. Riku was alone once more. Frustration began to well up inside him once more. Knowing Sora and Kairi were safe had brought a certain level of peace, but what did that peace matter if he didn’t know what to do now? He wanted, no, _needed_ to see them again. He punched the ground in frustration. A small dent came from the point of impact. His fist was curled tight as it collided with the dirt path. What was he supposed to do? Another sigh escaped his lips. His heart was beating fast, but wasn’t he just all heart? Regardless, it felt like his heart was beating fast. It had been so long since he had been this nervous. He hadn’t been this nervous since…. Back then.

****************************************************************************************

 _Riku was a boy. Well, it was both forever ago, and barely anytime at all. He was standing in_ **_The Secret Place._ ** _A voice was calling out to him. “Don’t you want to open the door. If you don’t, you will never be able to leave this island. You Will be stuck here. Forever.” It was sinister yet also comforting. Riku didn’t know how to handle it, but he was hesitating right now. Sora, Kairi, and him were supposed to leave on their raft tomorrow. They would say farewell to Selphie, Wakka, and Tidus. It would just be the three of them, leaving Destiny Islands,_ **_Together_ ** _. They would see other worlds,_ **_Together_ ** _. He was sure of it. Or, at least, he was. This strange voice, goading him to open the door. Let his heart give in to darkness, whatever that means, it made him uncertain of whether or not they could actually find other worlds. He couldn’t go on his own right now. If this door really did open to other worlds, he owed it to them to open it with them, not_ **_alone._**

 _What if, what if we die on that raft? Riku found himself asking to the darkness around him in that moist cave. His eyes rested on the drawing of Sora giving Kairi the Paopu Fruit. When had that been added? Anger began to bubble down deep inside him. Would their journey just be the eternal continuation of Sora and Kairi, featuring third wheel Riku? Was it their plan to leave him as soon as they could. So_ ** _they_** _could be rid of him?_ ** _He_** _wouldn’t allow it._ ** _He_** _needed_ ** _them_** _,_ ** _both_** _of_ ** _them_** _._ ** _He_** _had to be in control._ ** _He_** **_was_** _the oldest._ ** _He was the_** _wisest._ ** _He was the strongest._** _It was his duty. It was his_ ** _destiny_** _._

_The Naive youth shook his head. “No. I will open the door. We’ll see other worlds. And I will be the guide.” He spoke with conviction, but he wasn’t actually certain. As the strange voice of the mysterious strange began to laugh in his ear, he found his hands pressed firmly against the wooden door nestled inside their secret place. A warmth radiated where his hand pressed against the wooden surface. A soft light radiated around the frame and between the door and his outstretched palm. Despite this though, a shiver ran down his spine._

_The others never mentioned it. It was like it was Sora, Riku, and Kairi’s own little secret amongst secrets. He smiled. He liked that. Slowly he pushed in the door. Anyone who saw him would swear that this was done with both gusto and confidence. A smirk had been resting on his face. The same cocksure grin that Sora would see Riku be enveloped by Darkness wearing later. But in reality. His heart was beating hard and fast._ Just like right now. _And he was scared, his hands shaking hard, but that shaking obfuscated by them being pressed against the wooden door. And well, he did open that door. And the rest is history._

***********************************************************************************************

Now, now he was back in reality. No longer remembering his mistakes of the past. He found himself punching the ground hard again in response to the memory surge. Frustrated and upset, tears rolling down his face. His jealousy, his distrust, and his lack of confidence. The three of them meshed together over the past four or five months, leading to all the mistakes he had made in trying to first ensure the adventure he and his best friends dreamed of, and then later, ensure said best friends safety. Sora especially, he had pushed far way. Like he had pushed the door open. Could… could he ever look Sora in the eyes again?

He wasn’t sure, but he did know he couldn’t hang around here if he was going to find out. Who knew what dangers Sora was currently getting up to, Kairi too. He couldn’t let them down. He had to do his part, whatever that was. If he was here in this land of Darkness, it was here he would begin to attempt to make amends for the sins of his past. Standing straight up once more, he wiped the tears from his eyes. _No time for that. What was it that dumb duck and dog said? Oh Right, this ship runs on happy faces_. His face scrunched up in reaction to his own thought. It seemed more like something Sora would say than himself. He sighed, shaking his head. It would be a long, lonely road, and on it, he’d walk alone.

Finally getting the courage, energy? Confidence? He started down the winding path before him. It was the closest thing to a clue so far as what his _‘destiny’_ was. He almost spat at the thought. His long legs making long strides down the path. He didn’t like the idea of destiny. Wasn’t their leaving the islands their way of eschewing destiny and making a claim for something more. But no, that voice was convinced this was fate, destiny by another name. How was he supposed to reconcile that? Maybe that’s why his heart fully succumbed to Darkness. Maybe that’s why Sora won, and maybe that’s why Ansem took over his body. A sigh escaped his lips once more. He didn’t let himself stop though.

The Darkness surrounding him did quite literally that. He felt it encroaching upon his body. Heart? Solidified form. The metaphysics of living had become seemingly much more complicated than they had learned in school. The pressure was great and heavy. It felt as if the very air of this place was trying to blot Riku out of existence. Make him nothing more but a body littering the path ahead. Bodies were nothing new to Riku. Already in the mere hour he had been walking he had walked over at least a hundred lost souls who had collapsed in exhaustion. It was a wonder with how shallow he had to breath to compensate for the overbearing Darkness that he hadn’t done so himself.

That said, there was a point where he had to stop his movement. He literally could not take another step. Based on what that voice had said, his body had been taken over by the heart of Ansem. He was in a similar state, neither heartless nor person. Something in-between. Was his ability to move then perhaps predicated on his confidence? Or was the darkness just too much for him? If it was the latter, how could this be his fate? Closing the door. Maybe he should just give up now. How could he help? Everything he had done so far, it had all been a failure.  


****************************************************************************************

_Riku stood in the pool of darkness as it consumed him. He was traveling in it. The voice was right. It was perfect. He had just spoke to Sora. He seemed lost, scared, and confused. How pathetic. He could feel the power swelling inside him. Darkness. It was the key. He didn’t know what it was, not really anyways, a mere minute ago. But as soon as he opened the door, it filled him. Assaulted him. Empowered him. The others came quick, dropping dinner to instead investigate the raft. He lost track of Kairi, but he was sure he would see her soon._

_Light surrounded him. Where was he? He looked around. He was at the bottom of a rising waterfall. Platforms hung in the air, daring him to ascend. He squinted. The world felt like the hallway he had been going down, but at the same time, nothing at all like it. He began his ascent. There was two immediate goals in his mind. Goal one, find Kairi. She was alone, and there was no guarantee Sora would save her. Secondly, find Sora. He would be more ready to handle himself, but he knew he would have to come to the doofus' aid eventually. He grimaced. It hadn't been perfect, but it had worked. He had gotten them to other worlds._

_How little did he know at that time, what the cost would be for his foolish method. Some doors should remain closed._

***********************************************************************************************

 _Maybe that was it._ The thought flashed in his mind with a great intensity. Was this the karma for his mistake. Was he here now to close a door because he opened a door that should never be open? Unbeknownst to him, his home, The Destiny Islands, sit on the cusp of this world and that. In a way, they themselves are a manifestation of the kingdom hearts of worlds. They live connecting the realms of light and realms of darkness without existing between the two. Like the World of Light's foyer leading into the heart of the World of Darkness.  
  
If that was the case, if that was true, then he NEEDED to keep on walking. He wasn't sure how he would. A heavy sigh escaped his lips once more. Maybe he was stuck here forever. The darkness was too much for him as he was now. The old him, the one who worked so readily with Maleficent. He, he could have made it through. But no, he wouldn't. He'd just be another discarded body on this path.  
  
Riku didn’t believe in second chances. Riku. Didn’t. Believe. In second chances.  It was always Sora who would convince Riku to give someone a break when they had screwed up. But for Riku, he never forgot the transgression. It wasn’t that Riku wanted to be a vindictive person, he just was. That said, there were two people who were an exception to this policy. Sora and Kairi. Those two could do no wrong and he would do anything to keep them safe.

When he had initially turned on Sora it was in large part due to this very nature. Sora was going in opposition to protecting Kairi. Sora’s journeying with the Keyblade was endangering her more and more with each day in Riku’s mind and it had him spiraling deeper and deeper into the furthest pit of despair. The darkness in the shadow of Sora and Kairi’s lights was blinding. It took all he could to keep his head up and laugh when really he wanted to scream and cry. He wanted to be with his friends. Nothing. Nothing else mattered.  
  
So he amassed power and almost helped destroy the worlds he oh so wanted to see. He lost everything - including them. And Riku, Riku _deserved_ to lose so much more. Maybe it was okay if he died here.

His voice trailed as his fists pressed into the hard dirt below. His heart felt so heavy. Sunk with a seemingly endless torrent of regret. He was lost, and alone, and the truth of that hung heavy on his heart. Feeling helpless, he called out, for someone, for anyone. His voice though remained quiet, barely more than a whisper. It was all the effort his weak heart could afford at the moment. “Is this the Afterworld? I’m not ready, not yet. Not until I see Sora and Kairi one last time. I know I don’t deserver it. I know this is my own doing and this is a just punishment. But, just. Just. Let me see them ONE LAST TIME!” Riku Cried out in defeat. Large heavy tears stinging his face and streaming town like a torrential rainfall to the abyss below. The Abyss that was slowly eating up all of Riku.

****************************************************************************************

 _Riku stood at the edge of the land looking out to the sea and sky ahead. His destiny. His Fate. it was out there. There were more than just these islands and he was going to find it. Letting out a heavy sigh he shook his head in frustration. He only had to wait One. More. Day. He was intent on just spending the day staring away at the ocean. Sora could finish the final bits of construction of their raft. Instead he would take this final chance to rest._ **That might be the last time I’d rest for a long time.** _Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sora approach._

_“Hey, Sora. Our raft still needs a name. Let's see... How about  Highwind? What would you call it?” Riku asked. In actuality he had a purpose here, but he couldn’t fully put it into words, not until he got Sora’s answers._

_“Me? Well...hm... Excalibur!”_

_“Hey, how about…”_

_“The usual?”_

_“Let's do it!”_

_Kairi suddenly appears nearby on the wooden bridge chuckling at the two of them. A twang of pain twisted inside of Riku. The pain hanging heavy on his head and heart. His second love. Kairi. At first second to only Sora, but now equally so. The world said he had to choose, but did he really?_ **_He never had a choice in the matter_ **.

_“You guys at it again? All right, I'll be the judge. The usual  rules apply. Take any route you want... First one to tag that tree and  make it back here wins.”_

_Kairi. Sweet innocent Kairi. Playful and a terrible tease. She loved edging the two boys further on. Riku loved that about her. And he loved how Sora always fell for it. But in a way that led him to falling for it too, because he couldn’t let his number one love beat him. Then. Then he’d be useless._

_“If I win, I'm captain! And if you win…”_

_“I get to share the paopu with Kairi.”_

_The declaration came out so easily. A hard choice but the one he had to make. It would be decided here and now if there even was a point in his having to choose. How would Sora react to this? Sora didn’t notice at the time, caught up in the surprise of the moment, but Riku’s face had gone pale and was flushed with the thickest blanket of sweat._

_“Huh?”_

_“Deal? The winner gets to share a paopu with Kairi.”_

_“Wha... Wait a minute…”_  
_  
_ **_Their raft was named Excalibur._ **

***********************************************************************************************

  
Why? Why why why! He let it all get to his head. His obsession with needing to choose. To pick between them. Slowly pushing them further and further away. Now his precious sun and falling star were gone. Snuffed out of his life as he sunk into the deepest darkness. He didn’t deserve anything less.  
  
He hung his head, tendrils of hair flipping in front of his tear stained vision. A steady torrent of salty water flowed from his small aquamarine orbs. Just as his heart was about to give in though. A voice cried out. "LIGHT!"    
  
And then he could see for the first time in forever. It all happened so quickly. A woman with a keyblade fighting a flood of heartless. He was closing the door, and there was Sora, there was Kairi. They were okay. Everything would be okay. And then Mickey and Riku were running. He wished it and he had seen them. _He could die now_ . **_He wouldn’t care. At. All._ **

But no, he couldn’t actually die. _The King_ wouldn’t allow it. No. He was dragged into the basement of some castle by an all encompassing light. Lost and confused he picked through his memories. As he explored the castle he relieved his mistakes and regrets over and over as he looked for his sun. His eyes burned in the bright white of the rooms surrounding him, but he just needed to find Sora.    
  
The dark memories he had forged, breaking each chain with nary a care. The only thing that mattered was that Sora was here and he _needed_ to see him. He needed it like an addict. Just to see even one brown spike might be enough.  

He slowly moved through the castle running into an entourage of black coat wearing psychopaths obsessed with emotional manipulation and maintaining ridiculous hairstyles. Each one fell to Riku’s sword but he was numb to it. He just needed to see Sora. That’s all that mattered. Or. . . at least he thought. Early on he ran into a replica of himself. Some puppet that had been given a heart in the shape of his own. He won their fight, but he couldn’t help but worry how this puppet was being used to manipulate Sora.  
  
_Whatever that replica does to Sora is my fault. If it wasn’t for my actions, he wouldn’t be able to believe I’d ever fallen into the darkness._

After some time it became clear to Riku that he needed to find someone named Namine to save Sora from whatever trouble he’d gotten into in this castle. _Trouble he’s facing because you were too weak to be the Keyblade’s chosen hero._ Clutching his chest he moved from a dusty twilight encrusted street to the gates of a mansion.

The massive chateau was not unlike the home he grew up in on Destiny Islands. A mixture of bittersweet nostalgia and worry swirled inside of him.     
  
“Maybe Naminé is here…” he said to himself. Anything to suppress those memeories.

****************************************************************************************

_Riku was looking down on a sandy trail from his balcony. He couldn’t have been more than three years old. Holding onto the pewter railing like the bar’s of a cage he watched the other children playing with the sun, laughing, lo-_

****************************************************************************************

“Hold it.” he called out to himself. Riku turned on the stop in surprise being taken straight out of his memory.

“Huh?”

It was like looking into a mirror again. A mirror that only showed him his deepest regrets. The skirt of darkness and tight black chest piece. It was the decision to leave the sun and forget the stars in the night’s sky, instead washed in the comfort of the damp dark caves of despair. Things were different now - but he could never make amends for what he had done.

“Hmph. You've changed. Your own darkness---it doesn't frighten you

anymore.”

“How can you tell?”

“Because I'm you.”

“No, I'M me.” he said indignantly glaring at his replica. What did it even matter though? Was being Riku really worth it? He’d mastered his darkness, but wouldn’t it have been better if he never embraced it in the first place?

“"I'm me," he says. Must be nice being real. A fake like me could never get away with saying that.” The replica begins, his face contorting into a sinister evil glare.  
  
“That's right, I'm a phony, a fake! The way I look, the way I feel, everything I remember! And even this newfound power!” he screams as purple and green energies emit from his body, radiating like a swirling vortex until the replica is bathed in dark power.

“Huh?!” Riku feels overwhelmed by the energy emitting from his Replica. It seemed they were about to fight. This time, this time like all the other times, it was to be kill or be killed.

“I thought by finding some new strength, I could finally be someone---someone who is not at all you! But...nothing changes... I'm still just empty! Everything about me is borrowed. As long as you're around, I'll never be more than a shadow!” The replica screams. Tears are running down his face as he leaps at Riku swinging his blade.

Quickly bringing soul edge up to block the replica of his blade - the sound of the crash of metal on metal rung out for all to hear. A concussive wave of air burst from the point of impact. It seemed this fight would be the meeting of an unstoppable force and an immovable object. Both Riku and his replica were sent back sliding along the dirt in the aftermath of their very first clash. The gate of the mansion shook and the bricks of the cobbled wall rumbled.  
  
The two circled, sending blast upon blast of dark firaga at one another. Each shot met the other - exploding in a fission reaction that shot out green light and the scent of soot. That was the problem though - Riku had gotten so used to using the scent of his enemy to over power them. For his replica, it was like smelling himself. His brain couldn’t process any other source than himself.

“Ugh” Riku grunted out as he took the third slash across his back being sent rolling forward only this time to crash into a pile against the metal bars of the fence. Soul Eater clashed away sliding into a bush.  
  
His Replica was on him, foot on Riku’s chest looking down at his original self. “I guess this is where it ends. I end you, and then I’ll be me, and you won’t be anything.” he spoke slowly, his voice getting more and more unhinged with each word. His eyes distant, not in the moment. The tip of his Soul Eater pressing into Riku’s throat, a bead of blood pooling at the point of contact.

“So, do you have any final words?”

Riku was silent. Pathetic. Was this how he was to die? He couldn’t even hang his head in defeat lest he wanted to skewer himself with the blade having him look at the the slowly escaping light of death’s door. It seemed this twilight was the closest he would ever get to the sun or stars again. He’d be stuck in the encroaching dark. There was nothing he could do at this point. Riku closed his eyes in acceptance.

“SAY SOMETHING!” The Replica screamed. His Grip weakening. How did Riku know that though? He could sense it. He could clearly tell the two of them apart. This didn’t have to be over. He could still see him, at least one more time. Perhaps his vortex of destructive darkness could overcome the replica’s thick soot after all.

Raising his palm Riku quickly shot a dark firaga again. The blast completely caught the replica off guard as Riku leaped to take advantage. Tackling his replica mid air, he wrapped his arms around the duplicate him. Slamming his shoulder into the replica’s chest, the last bits of grip on the blade were relinquished and it went tumbling away.

The two Riku’s landed in a pile in the middle of the glen. Riku straddling the replica. Both breathing heavily.  
  
And then Riku started crying and punching his replica in the face. Each strike accompanied by him screaming out another curse.  
  
“Usless!”  
“A Fool!”  
“Selfish!”  
“Weak!”  
“Miserable wretch!”  
“That’s what I am!”  
“Is this really what you want to be!”  
“ Do you want to be this!”  
“Is this really worth it?”  
“I don’t want to be me!”  
“Why the hell… why the hell should you be!?”

The replicas face was covered in blood. Its cheeks caved in. Riku looked at his hands in horror. He had killed again, this time with his bare hands. The guilt swirled over and over again as he looked at the results of his actions. Another life of misery that he was to blame for.

“So...it's over. Hmph. Death doesn't frighten me. Good riddance to a phony life. My heart was never real. I'm sure even what I'm feeling now is probably all fake.”

“What are you feeling?” Riku asked. He could at least give the other him this moment of comfort and compassion.

“What happens when a fake dies---one like me? Where will my heart go? Does it disappear?”

“It'll go somewhere. Maybe to the same place as mine.”

“Tsk. A faithful replica until the very end. That's...okay.”

 _That’s okay. There was nothing okay about being me._ These were the only thoughts Riku had as he saw the final tendrils of life escape from the replica. But no, he needed to keep moving. He needed to continue chasing the sun. If he was to be ever stuck in Sora’s shadow, he needed to keep following his light.

Before he knew it he was looking at Sora in a glass incubator. Sora was smiling of all things. That was good. Riku had done a lot, killed a lot to get here. But was it enough? Had it cleaned his ledger? Could he now hold his head in pride?  
  
“Sora looks like he hasn't got a care in the world. Will I sleep that well?” Riku asked turning and looking at Namine with an knowing gaze.  
  
“Yes.” Namine replied. The Memory witch did look a lot like Kairi. She was smaller and her hair was inexplicably blonde, but Riku couldn’t help but wonder how empty she felt inside. No. He didn’t deserve to sleep. He had a lifetime of amends to make, starting here. If Ansem was here and influencing things to some degree - that meant her captivity was most likely a result of his choices in the long run.

“Sora always did as he pleased. It doesn't matter what we were doing — he'd still go off and leave me with all the work. Take the raft we were gonna use to leave the islands. That was all me. I've made up my mind. When this slacker wakes up, I'm gonna tell him off good. I told him to take care of Kairi, and here he is taking a nap! But I can't chew him out if I've been sleeping, too. Keep your lock. I'd rather just finish Ansem off once and for all.”

“But if the darkness he wields gets the better of you…”

“I'll make that darkness show me the way.”

“That's true.”

“Why do I get the feeling you knew I'd say that?”

“I didn't know. I hoped. I want you to face the darkness, because you're the one who can.”  words left unsaid but her eyes filled in the gaps. Riku could read her like a book. Most likely because she was Kairi’s Nobody. She hoped, no dreamed that he might **_stay with her_ ** . If this worked out, Maybe Riku **_would_ **.

“So that's why you came to me in the light. As Kairi.”

“You knew?!”

“I knew as soon as I met you. Somehow you...smell the same. Look after Sora.”  
  
Riku slowly walked out the large doors. As the light of the next chamber flooded around him, he was a dark figure against the light. His breath was caught in his throat and he didn’t know what more to say. He had to finish things with Ansem. Then, and only then could he hope to begin to make amends. It wouldn’t be enough. He never belonged back standing in the light with Sora and Kairi. But _maybe, just maybe_ , he could find some semblance of peace here.  
  
Room after room of heartless fell to Riku’s blade and the silver haired youth paid them nary a care. Each room growing darker. He was single-minded. If this castle was to be his new home, he needed to do something about that god-awful stench coming from the next room. He needed to get rid of Ansem once and for all.

Finally entering the last room, the orange skinned, barrel chested man who had once possessed him hovered before him. Glaring down at the young warrior of light and darkness. Ansem, seeker of Darkness opened his mouth and began to chastise Riku.    
“ I have watched you fight. I know your strength. Your skill with darkness has grown. It has become more mature. And yet, why... Why do you accept the darkness---but still refuse me? You know you and I are similar. We both follow where the darkness leads. Indeed, we are the same, so why? Does some part of your heart still have a fear of the dark?”

“That's not it. The truth is…”

Riku begins, summoning Soul Eater to his hand. A smug grin, a shadow of his former self follows his blade. In that moment Riku knew for sure he would win. For a moment he could play the hero. There was only him and Ansem here. And not matter how much he messed up, his ledger would always be cleaner than this foul beast.

“I just can't stand your foul stench.”

“You are a fool. You should know my powers well by now.”

“Yeah, I know. Or did you forget? I used all the power you had to give--- and Sora still beat me. I'm not at all impressed with your powers!”

“Very well. In that case---”  Ansem begins, darkness welling up all around him. If the room smelt like a pig pen before, now it was a dank sewer. But despite that, it also had a sickly sweet aroma to it. Riku could almost  hear the darkness calling out to him.  
  
“You shall sink into the abyss!” Ansem decreed as he stretched out a single hand. A wave of purply black darkness energy washes over Riku. Riku struggles to fight the pressure of the darkness on his chest but quickly melts into it.  

Blinking his eyes Riku realizes he’s now standing alone on a white dias in the middle of a pitch black room.

“Huh?”

Suddenly Ansem’s guardian heartless appears behind Riku. The servant enigma’s tree trunk arms encircled Riku’s arms at the armpit, hands interlocking on the back of his neck. The pressure and pain from the bulging muscles of the guardian holding Riku in place might have been the worst pain of his life. It didn’t help that there was an Earthy scent mixed with the typical stench of a heartless giving a peat moss aroma that Riku didn’t dislike. In better circumstances, he might even enjoy this moment. Somehow the guardian's chest was even broader than Ansem’s and its muscles bulging made it hard for him to struggle. It took everything for him to even wiggle there.  
  
“Hm! How pathetic Riku. I didn’t think you’d fall under my spell again so quickly” Ansem taunted. He leaned in close so that his eyes were mere inches from the silver haired youth. Taking a single finger he gently traced along the side of Riku’s face. The touch of it would have had Riku recoil, but as it stood now, he had already exhausted himself struggling. He simply glared in response.

“I’m going to enjoy this Riku. I’ll be sure to make it last long and savour every second of reminding you why you belong to me.” Ansem breathed out. A sinister look in his eyes spoke a world of depth about what was in store that Riku didn’t even want to contemplate. Nor did he have time to. Ansem’s finger had found Riku’s throat and in a single motion his entire hand was encircling Riku’s neck - Ansem’s thumb pressing deep into the soft press as he begins squeezing harder and harder.  
  
Riku gurgled a little as the oxygen slowly began to leave him. It was too much. He would  die here. He would never see the sun again. Ansem’s finger pressed in deeper as Riku could feel the immense pressure on his neck. Each second was a step closer to the final door and the final setting of the sun on his life. Here Ansem would choke out the final life from Riku’s body and leave him a quivering mess.

“When I’m done with you, I’ll take over your body again, wake Sora up, and ensure his suffering is three fold.” Ansem whispered in Riku’s ear, the hand he wasn’t using to choke the life out of Riku Stroking the boy’s hair. He leaned in to kiss Riku and take the final breath from the boy’s lips. Getting Sora involved was like handing Riku Excalibur. **_No one was allowed to hurt Sora anymore. Riku would not allow it._ **

Taking all his energy, Riku explodes Darkness out of his body in a wide arc. The Guardian quickly slips away. For a brief moment Riku feels sad, not wanting his scent to leave. He’s left with the intoxicating call of Ansem’s Darkness. He may have said that it didn’t impress him, but Sora had also beat Riku when he didn’t have Ansem’s power on his side. It was hard to say if he could actually do this when he was starting Ansem right in the face. It didn’t help that he was already out of breath and the fight hadn’t even begun.  
  
Taking a moment to rest, Riku breathed in deeply, and his combat skirt materialized. The dress of darkness encompassing his body and melting his clothes away. The burning heat of darkness filling his body and flushing his face. The benefit of this being that he didn’t feel as out of breath as he sunk into a haze of darkness.

Ansem and the Guardian quickly fly towards him, and Riku finds himself jumping backwards to dodge. Swerving his body left and right as the guardian punches on and on again. And there’s that intoxicating scent once more. If Riku wasn’t already flushed, his face now was certainly a reddish pink. But there wasn’t time to think about this and pleasure he could be having.  
  
The guardian and Ansem were double teaming him, when Riku looked one way the other wasn’t far away. It took all he could to not drift into the incoming punches of the Guardian. As enticing as its aroma might be, he was here for one thing and one thing only, to rid Ansem of his hold over Riku’s heart. If he could do that, maybe he could face the sun again.

“Insolent brat!” Ansem screamed out as Riku dodged yet another attack. It was a delicate dance but neither was making any headway on the other. Riku was keeping the dark at bay as he hid in the shadow of the light.

Ansem extended both his arms out, charging a swirling black darkness with only the faintest tint of purple. Two orbs of immense power began glowing at the palm of both his hands. He slammed the side of his hands together so they extended outwards in front of him. The Guardian was already behind Riku, he couldn’t dodge to the side or back. There was only one option left.  
  
Summoning all his darkness into Soul Edge’s Blade he leaped forward slashing the ball in two, siphoning the darkness into his blade. But Riku wasn’t done yet.

“Ansem!”

“Huh?”

Riku kept running forward. He was full speed, full tilt. Sword held back, ready for his next step. The Guardian tried to catch up but Riku was propelling himself with darkness now. Until he propelled right past Ansem. His sword cut through the phantom heartless of all the regrets in his heart screaming.

“This is the end!”

“This...is hardly...the end... Your darkness---I gave it...all to you… My dark shadow...lingers... Someday... Someday... I will return!”

An explosion of darkness ripples out from where Ansem stood as his body burns up. The platform below Riku’s feet gives in and he drops into the darkness below. He lets out a sigh. It seems, he wasn’t strong enough.

“Sora... Kairi...be strong without me. I was older. I should have looked out for both of you. And yeah, maybe the raft was foolish, but I don’t regret it for a moment. I just wish I never opened the door. I wish, I could be with both of you one more time. Still, I saw the sun, and though the night sky is without stars. I can rest easy knowing Ansem is no more.”

His body sank and he breathed easy. Riku was at peace. Scum like him, yes, this death was just. A proper punishment for his sins. A final time to protect Sora from his mistakes. _Namine. . . Look after Sora since I can’t be there anymore. I have to-_  
  
At the deepest point of darkness a n orb of light appears rushing towards Riku like a falling star. Thoughts of how much he missed Kairi overwhelmed him.

“Gosh, Riku, I know you wanted to do this alone...but ya don't mind gettin' a LITTLE help, do ya?” The king’s voice. It was so warm. So welcoming. Riku reached out and the two locked hands. Soon after he was standing next to Mickey on the first floor of the castle.

“So, Riku...what happens next? Are you goin' home?”

Home. Destiny Islands. He didn’t miss it. But he wanted to go back. But not like this. He wanted to be rid of his sin and reunite with his Sun and star.  
  
“I can't go home---not yet. It's still here. It's really faint, but I can sense him. So I think his darkness may still have a hold on me.”

“Your darkness belongs to you. Just the same way your light does. Up till now, I thought darkness was something that should never exist. Then I spent time with you and changed my mind. The road you chose---I didn't know. Light and dark, back to back. With you, I think they might meet in a way nobody's seen before. Wonder where that road leads. I'd like to see myself.”

“Hm?” What was the king getting at Riku thought. He couldn’t follow the mouse.

The mousey monarch extends his Hand to Riku.

“I'd like to walk the road with ya.”

Riku lets out his first honest laugh since he left Destiny Islands.

“Your Majesty, I'm really flattered... I don't know what to say.”

“Gosh, Riku, you know you don't have to call me that now. We're pals.”

“Fair enough, Mickey.” Riku didn’t deserve it, but he couldn’t turn down Mickey after everything he had done for him. He would play at being the friend and maybe someday he’d think he deserved Mickey’s companionship.

“There’s one more thing I’d like to do before we leave your mag- er, Mickey I mean” Riku tags on.

Mickey looks up smiling, “What’s that Riku?”  
  
“I need to thank Namine.”  
  
“Gwarsh, okay, I’ll meet you outside, take your time pal.”  Mickey consents as he trods outside. Riku nods running up the flights of stairs to Namine’s room. His mind racing.

When he had been with her he felt something. And right now, more than anything, he needed somewhere safe to return to. It didn’t matter what. She was _convenient_. But more importantly, she for a brief moment, she made him belief in himself and Sora. So he had to see this through to the end.

Crashing into Naime’s room, he bent over, hands on knees panting. Thirteen floors was a hell of a trip.  
  
“Riku!?” Namine cried out as she saw the boy appear. She’d been sketching sora with pencil crayons and snapped one in surprise.

“I-I didn’t expect you to be back. Not till”  
  
Riku, having caught his breath crossed the room in 3 strides taking her in his arms. His hands on her hips as he embraced her in a hug.  
  
“Thank you for watching over Sora. Thank you for helping him. But. . . most of all, thank you for believing in me” Riku choked out. He was almost crying now.  
  
Namine was shocked at first, but she reached up and cupped the silver haired youth’s face in both her hands. “It’s okay. It’s nice. To not be alone for a change.”  
  
The voice eating at the back of Riku’s head had silenced. There was an eerie quiet that was only broken by the sound of Namine and his own breathing. Riku sniffled once more and sunk deeper into their embrace. His forehead pressed onto hers as he let out a pent up breath.  
  
But it was Namine who couldn’t wait, shifting her head and going on tip toes she pressed him into a kiss. The two stood there in what felt like forever. Riku didn’t want it to stop, but both had to break apart to breath.  
  
“That- Nami, I”  
  
“I’m sorry, Riku”  
  
“No no. It. It was good. Just. Surprising. I never thought anyone would want to kiss -”  
  
Namine couldn’t let him finish though. She kissed him again. It was like melting into nothingness. There was a bliss to kissing Namine Riku couldn't describe. He wasn't sure if it was lust or love, but it felt really damn good right now and he wasn't going to give it up for anyone. He let himself fully lose himself in the moment.   
  
“I can tell. You care so much. Please. Keep on fighting. I don’t want you thinking like that. If you start hating yourself for what you did, think of me. When I look at you, I almost think, for a moment, I can really feel.”  
  
They were both crying now. Crying and kissing. It lasted for several moments until they found themselves cuddling in a corner of the room. Bodies intertwined with one another.  
  
“I should go. There’s things I need to find out, but, I’d like to come back.”  
  
“Yes. I’d like that. I could use the distractions too” Namine said, kissing Riku gently on the neck.  
  
“Alright. I need to find out more about this organization, what they really wanted with Sora. Their true objective. But, I’ll come back to you. I promise” Riku said gently kissing her forehead.  
  
“You better!” Namine Pouted nuzzling into Riku’s neck. It took all his energy but he pulled himself out of the ball of bodies the two of them had become.

“Don’t worry. I will. You make my heart feel at ease. This. This will help me keep _him_ at bay. Thank you, thank you so much Namine.”  
“How will you know which way to go?” She asked as he stood at the door.  
  
“I’ll stick in the shadow of your light and walk the road to dawn”


End file.
